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Intelligent Quotes
9 replies
purplemedusa said on September 16, 2003 09:56:
I love quotes - they reveal so much about the author. Here’s a couple of my favourites. Let’s get cut&pastin’ with qoutes...
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: “I would not live
forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live
forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not
live forever,” – Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help
but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and
stuff,” – Mariah Carey
“Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life,” – Brooke
Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking
campaign.
“I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,” – Winston Bennett,
University of Kentucky basketball forward.
“Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,”
– Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
“I’m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the
president,” – Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.
“That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I’m just
the one to do it,” – A congressional candidate in Texas.
“I don’t feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were
great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying
to keep it for themselves.” – John Wayne
“Half this game is ninety percent mental.” – Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny
Ozark
“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water
that are doing it.” – Al Gore, Vice President
“I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix.” – Dan Quayle
” It’s no exaggeration to say that the undecided could go one way or another” –
George Bush, US President
“We’ve got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?” – Lee
Iacocca
“I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I
assisted in furthering that version,” – Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra
testimony.
“The word ’genius’ isn’t applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein,”
– Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.
“We don’t necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people.” –
Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
“If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure.” – Bill Clinton, President
“We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur.” – Al Gore, VP
“Traditionally, most of Australia’s imports come from overseas.” – Keppel Enderbery
“Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice
that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in
your circumstances.” – Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
“If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed
and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they
wake up dead, there’ll be a record.” – Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
“If we let the loggers go in and cut down all the trees we wouldn’t have a problem with
forest fires.” - George Bush
LaMan said on September 16, 2003 17:51:
that Mariah Carey ‘quote‘is untrue. Don´t try to harm her reputation.
DaminehGessle said on September 16, 2003 18:39:
Ha Ha Ha! Norman Einstein!
We have a program here in Canada in which some Canadian reporters went across the broder to US and asked them very simple questions or commented on things that even a 5-year old would know it was untrue. And the stupid adults would reply to the question very very incorrectly or comments on the guys’ comments in such stupid manner that I didn’t know whether to laugh at their dumbness or cry because there are such low-iqed people living around us who wants to make everyone believe they know more or think they know more.
on_a_mission said on September 16, 2003 21:51:
this is good, very funny. I will endeavour to hunt for more later, oam
harriej said on September 18, 2003 19:02:
No chemist knows the chemistry of a kiss (by my collegue B.W. Hoffer (a chemist!))
on_a_mission said on September 18, 2003 19:34:
Not quite relevant, but here is a collection of dumb laws from Michigan, where I was recently. Enjoy, oam
-A woman isn’t allowed to cut her own hair without her husband’s permission.
-There is a 3 cent bounty for each starling and 10 cent bounty for each crow killed in any village, township, or city in the state.
-It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house.
-You may not swear in front of women and children. (Repealed)
-Any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun as long as he/she has not been convicted of a felony.
-It is illegal to kill a dog using a decompression chamber.
-Adultery is illegal, but can only be punished upon a complaint by the affected husband or wife. Furthermore, no prosecution may take place if the offense was committed over a year from when a complaint was made.
-No man may seduce and corrupt an unmarried girl, or else he risks five years in prison.
-The last Sunday in June of every year was named “log cabin day”.
-Cars may not be sold on Sunday.
-Persons may not be drunk on trains.
-There is a law that makes it legal for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.
-Couples are banned from making love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple’s own property.
-Willfully destroying your old radio is prohibited.
-It is illegal for a man to scowl at his wife on Sunday.
-It is illegal to let your pig run free in Detroit unless it has a ring in its nose. According to history and animal husbandry, it prevents them from “rooting” in the ground for their food.
-Security guards at Joe Louis Arena will confiscate any item they feel might be thrown onto the ice. Furthermore, any person seen throwing an octopus onto the ice at a Red Wings game will be taken to jail.
-No person shall throw an abandoned hoop skirt into any street or on any sidewalk, under penalty of a five- dollar fine for each offense.
-It is illegal to paint sparrows to sell them as parakeets.
-It is against the law to serenade your girlfriend.
Rochester
-All bathing suits must have been inspected by the head of police.
-Smoking while in bed is illegal.
-Anyone can keep their cow on Main Street downtown at a cost of 3 cents per day.
[Note] The latter half of these laws are city specific, but really dumb
purplemedusa said on September 19, 2003 07:11:
ROFLOL!!!
By the looks of things I would have spend an eternity in jail under those laws... heaven knows what they have to say about homosexual relationships...
Jud (moderator) said on September 16, 2003 10:01:
:O
Jeez!!!!! Very clever ppl are running the US eh!! :D
(our Aznar is not better!)