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I don't know what to do!!

11 replies

Lucy_GT said on July 17, 2004 20:56:

I have loved the same guy for 5 years and until recently i believed he loved me back. He was always so lovely to me. Whenever we saw eachother he’d smile at me and wave and he was never to busy to talk to me. I’d always send him christmas cards and birthday cards and before long he was calling me his ’little friend’.
For a long time we were never more than friends as he was in a relationship which i didn’t mind because it didn’t seem to be going too well and he knew how i felt. It was all going so well.
But a few weeks ago i found out he is engaged to this other woman which shocked me a lot. I don’t believe it’s what he really wants. Somebody please tell me how to deal with this because i’m confused. How can somebody be so loving with you and then ask somebody else to marry them??

purplemedusa said on July 18, 2004 08:56:

Funny you should mention this... I woke up this morning in absolute cold sweat realizing that the one man I was prepared to climb mountains for, was not around anymore... and hasn’t been for a very long time. It’s a sad reality but you’ve got to remember that you cannot force another’s love and most certainly cannot live another’s life. Keep the memory of him close to your heart, but let him fly! ... don’t forget how you loved this man... move on, love, there’s greater magic still to come!

Big Hugs,

Roxer93 said on July 18, 2004 09:51:

He calls you “little friend”.
He knew how you felt about him, and yet he did not act on it.
He sounds to me as though he thinks of you more like a little sister.
You “found out” he was engaged.
I take it this means he did not tell you personally.
Two possibilites come to mind:
1. He realises how you feel and thinks that it won’t hurt your feelings as much if it comes from someone else.
2. Maybe he really does love this woman and does really want this.
Surely, even the best of friends don’t always tell each other absolutely everything.
I reckon there’s probably a whole lot of other guys out there who really like you, but perhaps you just haven’t noticed them because you’re so focused on this one.
I tend to agree with purplemedusa when he says “let him fly, there’s greater magic to come”.

Lucy_GT said on July 18, 2004 11:11:

thanks guys for your advice.
As hard as it’s going to be to move on, i guess you’re both right.

**Hugs**

zeeshan said on July 20, 2004 02:02:

I think everything happens for a reason. It is only later on that we realize what the reason really is. I also think that this “reason” is ALWAYS in our favour in one way or the other.

eyerun said on July 22, 2004 07:13:

I think you should tell him how you really feel. It isn’t good to have feelings like this bottled up. If you care about this man he will see how much you care. It sounds like you have known him for a while. Idk that is what i’d do.

Have you ever seen Love Actually? I don’t know the exact actors involved in the scene, but your situation reminds me of a specific story in this movie. If you check out the DVD they are the scenes with the actors in the bottem left part of the present on the cover of the DVD. (this prob sounds confusing ...but check it out!)

All in all i agree with what was said above. You need to open your mind to other fellas. You’ll be amazed at what you’ll find! (try getting a membership to a gym or joining a book club ...or something along those lines) And if you care about him so much...let him fly! (as quoted from previous posts;)

All of this is easier said than done...and it may take time...good luck!!!!!!!!

kachina008 said on July 22, 2004 07:52:

eyerun: which situation are you referring to in “love actually” ? the guy in love with his best friend’s new wife?

loved the movie :)

Roxlander said on July 23, 2004 20:45:

This topic made me sad ;-( Reminds me some part of my life :-(((

eyerun said on July 24, 2004 20:21:

kachina...ya I am referrring to that specific story;) It is a good movie! The guys best friend who is in love with his wife really goes out on a limb. I give props to him for going about it in such an inosent way...not trying to cheat or steal her away, but just letting her know in his own cute ways that he thinks she is beautiful!

kachina008 said on July 25, 2004 09:26:

I KNOW!!!! I was melting right off my chair at that part :DDD

purplemedusa said on July 26, 2004 17:32:

F***! Just caught myself going through old letters... looking frantically for ’that something’ I might have missed in the past that might explain the reason why there’s no contact with the person (as briefly mentioned in my first post)... but it seems rather pointless and more destructive to continue living in whatcouldhavebeen. God knows, I’ve got the Tshirt... done the patchin up etc... but for some silly reason I always return! All I can do currently is allow myself to be guided by the Universe... I’ll get my answers eventually!!

Now, lets think happy thoughts!!

purplemedusa said on July 26, 2004 18:03:

A coffee & 2 cigarettes later...

I’ve come to the realization that the bond was real... i have no reason to believe otherwise... and that the there is no real split (will never be) - but it is only that the chord (that bond us) has streched. Maybe we’ll meet in another lifetime... maybe still in this one...

All I can say is, “Universe, bring it on!”