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sex between friends
24 replies
sunnshy said on January 19, 2004 20:15:
What do you think about it, sex between two good friends
DaminehGessle said on January 19, 2004 20:45:
I never got how 2 people could do stuff together. I value friendship so much that even thinking of the fact that sex ruins most friendships keeps me away from that. Most people cannot continue their friendship after that if I’m right. Sometimes things get better and most of the times oh well worse. I do not take risks in friendship.
n-Somnia said on January 19, 2004 20:48:
Never even been there myself. I don’t seem to have the right kind of friend that would want to do that. And when I do, they’re an internet buddy from out of town that I’ve never met, hehe. :P
Jud (moderator) said on January 19, 2004 21:23:
have no clue.. never had such experience.. the most I did once was kiss a (gay) friend of mine, dunno, it was just for fun and we were quite drunk :) We even have pictures of that, sure we still talk to eachother :P
Roxlander said on January 19, 2004 21:40:
I’m not sure if it’s a good idea. I haven’t had the experience, but some years ago a friend of mine and I were close to that, but because of what happened I think we lost our friendship. I also have kissed some friends, straight males (so they say), and we keep been friends, and those kisses are part of our story.
But I must admit something, if I had the chance to have sex with some good friends who I feel attracted to I think I might do it :-p
wendy said on January 19, 2004 21:51:
No good idea......
Especially not when you’re not sure the other wants more,or not,believe me,happened to me,i had a chrush on that guy for weeks,and,well,he had a GF,but,it was more off then on,so,he and me were pretty “close”,and,having fun all time,so,on a party,we got more close,but,then,i thougth he was just using me,cuz,it was going bad with his GF,and,for some stupid reason,his bro started to kiss me,and,well,i kissed back(okok,shame on me)he got very angry.....well,it never came good to us anymore... wich i still regret :( (and never saw his bro anymore,wich i don’t regret :p )
Stormkeeper said on January 19, 2004 21:59:
I´d even like to sleep with 1 - 2 persons from TDR. Never gonna happen...
DaminehGessle said on January 19, 2004 23:43:
Kissing is very very different than sex. They are just very very very different. You cannot even compare them. Or I might be wrong? You just don’t happen to have sex in a heartbeat. Things lead to that. But kissing can come really fast before you know it. Or could I be wrong again?
powerpoplarry said on January 20, 2004 03:51:
Well, it’s a VERY touchy subject, very tricky. Like say I’m good friends with this girl, and we become very close. And we realize we are attracted to each other as well. What if one person wants to take it to the next level, and the other person doesn’t for fear of blowing their friendship, what do you do?? If you have sex, and there are regrets, weird feelings, the friendship is likely done. The other side is say you don’t have sex, but the want is there, the friendship is done too cuz the opportunity is blown.
The first situation never happened to me, but the second has, and I keep kicking myself for blowing it!!
All I say, if it’s a close platonic friendship, between 2 straight people of the opposite sex (or 2 gay people), read body language, and if it looks right, bring up the sex subject in a non-threatening way. If both parties are comfortable with trying it, without ramifications, do it. If it’s a bit testy, DON’T, otherwise the friendship will likely be done, not a good thing.
I’m PRO going from close friends to lovers, cuz really, your life partner should also be your best friend. Question is how do you go about it?? Friends to lovers?? Or a stranger fling to fullblown lovers, with friendship developing in the process??
Which is better?? I don’t know...
Damineh, I value friendship as much as you do, but when it’s right, it’s right...no denying it (I’m not hinting at anything, BTW)
DaminehGessle said on January 20, 2004 07:34:
Larry: YOu hear so many sad stories that you never know what “right” means anymore. I used to know what right was but the whole picture was washed away through my own experiences. Everytime you draw a new “right”, something happens to prove it wrong. That’s how I feel towards the whole thing.
Aaso said on January 20, 2004 09:27:
Í think sex relationship is so diffrent from friendship .. you can not mix it!
sunnshy said on January 20, 2004 14:57:
thanks for all you answers, I friend of mine propused it to me, an i’m really considering to do it, i mean i want him since we were in college :)
powerpoplarry said on January 21, 2004 05:51:
Damineh, you’re right. So many horror stories, but also many successes. It just shows you that each relationship and/or friendship is unique, and you can’t really use them as examples in what to do regarding a current situation in your life. Best to just take it as it comes, that’s all you can do really. If it crosses over successfully, great; if it’s best to stay a friendship, great; if it’s blown, it’s just the way of the world, and we shouldn’t shy away from taking risks if the cards may be right. Know what I mean?? Yes, they are risks, BUT you know what they say?? The biggest risks yield the biggest rewards...no fault in trying, none whatsoever...
And I agree with Kachina, you live you learn...
DaminehGessle said on January 21, 2004 07:28:
Our beloved Marie sings: I don’t want to get hurt. That’s all I can say at this very moment heehee.
harriej said on January 23, 2004 23:04:
depends on the definition of friendship:
If you mean sex with “a” friend of you (and not “your “real” boy/girl-friend) then I agree with you all.
But the real boy/girl-friend (in a relation) is off course also a friend and you can have sex!
Edu82 said on January 25, 2004 22:39:
I’ve always had sex with my best friends and also with my favourite singers
Jackie_Radiorox said on February 2, 2004 02:44:
Interesting topic and I would say, you can’t really say much about it unless you’ve been there and done that.
A friend of mine and I had this type of relationship and managed to stay friends. Simply because it was the type of relationship where we cared for eachother, but knew we could not function well as a serious relationship.
So, if I needed to talk to him, we would talk. If he needed to talk to me, we would talk. And just talk, no funny business. When it came down to sex, we literally would call eachother and a simple “I need you” would suffice. Or we’d just end up together. We were like this for a good. . . 3 years or so. Lived through some odd times, he helped me out during a few personal traumas.
Now, I am not friends with him anymore because he got married and his wife and I don’t see eye to eye. I happen to think it is because she knows something happened. Although, he swears up and down (and I believe him) that he never told her. Unfortunately, we just seem to pass a few e-mails and on the off chance bump into eachother at Starbucks and spend some time chatting.
It is possible for it to happen, just not for the long term. ;)
J.
purplemedusa said on January 19, 2004 20:20:
Well, not as good as sex with strangers!!