I’d just come from an exhausting camping trip at 4:30pm. Lied down on the couch flipping through channels. Nothing to watch on a Sunday evening. Watching a video or a DVD would be a good idea. I went to my room looking for something to watch, something to bring back the past for a few hours. I closed my eyes and pointed at one of the videos: Don’t Bore Us, Get to the Chorus. The first song: You don’t understand me.

This video came out when I was still in Iran. I remember my best friend and I walking down the school hallways singing this song. This is how I remember this song. It makes me shiver all the way, in and out. Roxette was the best thing in my life back then, Roxette and tennis. My friend and I rocked the world with it. Per was my hero and Pete Sampras hers. We lived our lives thinking of these two, dreaming we would drive in streets of London, the four of us listening to Roxette and singing along and ...

So yeah everytime Roxette is on, everything we ever did is played in my brain just like a movie. I miss it dearly.

I tried to keep contact with my friend after we moved to Vancouver. We used to write each other letters, 20 pages or so, every week. It was amazing. She moved to Canada 3 years ago, Toronto though. We kept contact but then both realized we’d changed so much. It all fell apart one night and I don’t regret it. It hurt but I don’t regret it. We were very very different than when we were 17, the last time I saw her. It hurts thinking about her though. We were sisters. We were everything to each other. We plowed the snow off of the tennis court to play tennis for the afternoon. We were insane.

Midway through You Don’t Understand Me, I felt like I wanted to talk to her no matter how badly she’d hurt me at the end. I knew I didn’t like her anymore, just like I’d never known her. I just wanted to tell her I missed her and those memories would never ever fade. That no matter how old I will be, those years would still be the best years of my life. The days we used to listen to each and every Roxette song for hours and hours just to find the lyrics to the songs. The days we dreamt of meeting Per and Marie one day and fantasize about what to tell them and how to act. I miss those days we sang along to Roxette songs, jumping around acting as if we were in heaven. I miss those days, no matter how childish they might seem.

I decided not to write her to express my feelings. It just doesn’t feel right. I honestly cherish those days but it’s like I don’t know her anymore. I try to keep the feelings to myself, as usual. Typical me.

I typed those feelings and now Í decided to paste them here. I don’t know why, just felt like it. Tomorrow is a new day and I will try to move on as I always have. Those days and those people will always be here in my mind and my heart. I will miss those memories always and forever.