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Loneliness
6 replies
The Pop Hits said on August 12, 2008 17:58:
I am a lonely person and I am so sick of this and being alone all the time. How to make friends? How did you make yours? Thanks.
CRIZ said on August 13, 2008 17:56:
Just go out and meet people! I made friends thru “penpalling”, thru the internet, thru parties, thru other people, thru my work, thru Roxette....first of all: don’t stay home
Kerstin said on August 13, 2008 18:57:
Do you have a hobby? Well, then maybe search for some forums where you find people with the same interests. I for one like football, so I’m very active in a football chat (I am an admin there by now). I got to know lots of people there which I meet at the matches in the stadium or with whom I chat in ICQ or which I sometimes meet at the weekend. Or as CRIZ said, go out, try to meet people; maybe start to learn a new language...
nate said on August 17, 2008 01:57:
Well, there are some excellent tips here. I found myself in a similar position when I decided to leave a religious organization that played such a large role in my personal life. When I finally did leave, I really felt all alone. Here are some things that worked for me, a single man in my 30s:
1) I wrote down a list of friends and former acquaintances: people that I’ve lost touch with over the years and wanted to re-establish contact with (work, school etc). I’ve attempted to contact everyone on that list, and have successfully rekindled some of those friendships.
2) I wrote down a list of all the things that interest me and that I’m passionate about (e.g., hobbies, sports, other interests etc.). I completed online research to look for clubs/social organizations and other opportunities in my area for me to participate in various activities to meet other people that also share similar interests. I’ve set aside some time to participate in some of these activities, and this continues to be a work in progress.
3) I purchased a dog – this happened before “the great transition”; however, it’s worth mentioning again (as others have already mentioned pets) because in addition to the companionship, there’s that sense of responsibility, and that feeling of being needed. Additionally, you can’t help but meet other people (i.e., other dog owners) when you’re walking the dog.
4) To further my career, I decided to continue my education in an area of interest. This has also created the opportunity to meet others, and the people I’ve met have work in similar industries and have similar career goals.
5) I sought to improve my relationships with my immediate family: especially my parents and siblings. Life is so short, and you want to enjoy it with those who are closest and mean the most to you.
Although it’s very important for you to be you, here are some things that can help:
• Don’t be a voluntary prisoner in your own home. Be active: turn off the TV and computer and get outside of your 4 walls.
• Maintain a positive attitude – complaining is often such a major turn-off. Look for the good in others and refrain from judging. Treat others the way you would like to be treated – show respect, be considerate and kind.
• Show a genuine interest in others – ask questions – let them do the talking while you actively listen - people like it when others take a genuine interest in them.
• Take some risks and get outside your comfort zone – try something you’ve never experienced before, you might learn something new about yourself.
• Be proactive – try inviting an acquaintance you’ve never invited before to coffee, beer, dinner, movie or even the game/movie on TV. Even if they decline, you’ve lost nothing; however, if they accept, you may gain a friend.
• Be patient, friendships take time to develop – a sense of humour doesn’t hurt either. :)
Well, I hope there was something helpful here. Good luck to you! Let me know how it goes.
IPPIE said on August 13, 2008 16:19:
Don’t think of it. It can’t happen on force.