Marc said on November 28, 2003 01:31:

What was their reaction?

Marc said on November 28, 2003 01:49:

I understand your feelings Johanlarsson! I’m gay and nobody around me knows it. I can’t imagine the reaction of my parents and my friends. I admire your courage to tell them. It’s a big step, I know. I’m sure they will accept it with the time ;-)

coyboyusa said on November 28, 2003 05:00:

its a normal reaction either they will move on or they wont just be happy with who you are

Jud (moderator) said on November 28, 2003 08:47:

my parents weren’t happy with the idea either, wanted to “change me” or thought I could change.. it took a while until they could understand and accept me, it was a hard time. I also hated them by then and thought they were the worse parents... but now everything is fine! Time is the key.

They “fell in love” with my Connie as soon as they got to know her, they just adore her and are happy that I am happy :) And I think they are the best parents on earth :D

So give them a bit of time.. i also couldn’t understand by then why that reaction.. but now I do, they have been brought up differently, since they were small they were told that the future is a man and a woman, that gay are sick... when they got to know about me they really didn’t care with whom I wanted to spend my life with but the fact that for being gay I would have to suffer for things I wouldn’t have to for being hetero, they thought I wouldn’t be happy, that’s what worried them the most, my happiness, but like I said, after a while everything was fine again and I am sure everything will be fine with your parents again!

Denstandigaresan said on November 28, 2003 10:48:

All my gay friends had this reaction. The parents never meant it.
Obviously you don’t live with them anymore?
Write them a letter. Tell them, you’re still their son. You’ve not changed... you were gay before you told them, did they love you any less then? So, why should them actually knowing now make a difference.
It’s hard, I’ve never been through it, but i’ve been there for friends that have.
Wish you all the best.

Aaso said on November 28, 2003 11:58:

Yes I agree with Judith!!! The time will solve everything. Just let it go. ok?

Johanlarsson said on November 28, 2003 19:13:

I need to say THANK YOU to all the guys that have said some words here. That is so really very good for me.

I was not happy last night after I speak to parents and I was drinking with a friend, sometimes alcohol it makes life more difficult! I have now spoken to more family and life is going better today.

It will just need time, I know so.

i_jera said on November 28, 2003 20:40:

Maybe I’m replying a bit late, but well...

I can’t know the exact situation you’re in, I don’t know nor yourself nor your parents, but I kinda know how you feel... First of all - don’t be sorry for expressing yourself. Your parents will probably hardly swallow that, but give them the time, and be patient with them. Try to talk to them, expain them that you’re still the same you that you were before, but you’ve now trusted them more /the fact of sharing such an information speaks for itself/, try to make them see that you haven’t changed in a way, apart from that you’ve been now much more open and honest. It might be very hard for them to accept you again, because, as said before, their entire lifes they’ve taught that homosexual people are kind of sick or something... They may feel guilty, like if they did something wrong to make you chose that path, they surely feel pain, which turns into anger when expressed (usual human reaction), so give them the time until they accept you again just the way you are. (I really hope they do - sooner or later) As somebody above wrote - surround yourself with friends who you love and who love you, talk to them (or to somebody else who you trust), if you need contact such queer youth organisation where you live...

And again, never ever feel sorry for expressing yourself.

Anarem said on November 29, 2003 18:40:

Real story?

DeneB said on November 30, 2003 12:32:

@ Johanlarsson: you can be so proud of yourself! there are so many gays which are not that strong! You are, coz you are true to yourself.
believe me, everythings gonna be fine. You did the 1st step, so you will do the rest.

and i am proud of all people that replied here, too!
when i had the problem of accepting me as a gay, you all helped me! Thank you so much! Now i’m living happyly as a homosexual.
I owe you a lot!!!

sunnshy said on December 1, 2003 16:32:

Hi

I have a gay friend and at the begining his parents were angry at him ,but rigth now, they all get along very well, it’s just becasue i think is still shocking news

ATLTK said on December 1, 2003 21:30:

I know Exactly how you feel
have feel the same and i´m still worried for the future if u want contact me
my msn is [email protected]
the rest is on my details
i´m from sweden too just like u

lawyer said on December 2, 2003 16:52:

Comment removed by author

ATLTK said on December 5, 2003 14:56:

johan how are u now?

lawyer said on December 5, 2003 19:06:

Comment removed by author

Johanlarsson said on December 6, 2003 02:01:

Hello Guys! I should now explain the story more...... I was at home with the parents and they started to ask me about a (girl)friend at university and saying really she was my girlfriend. Before four days I had just said bye to my first boyfriend, so I was not happy with the parents words. I say to them that I was not going to have a girlfriend and afetr many moments, I get angry and say why I would not hav e a girlfriend. I go to sleep and then the next day I now know what I say because my Far say that he still love me it is no problem. My Mama cry all the time and not speak to me. It is problem for me when my Far is too good and my Mama will not be in the room with me. I think “What have I sayed?” I go back to Lund (University) and speaks with friends. Some friends are gay, most are not gay and they tell me I am stupid to tell my parents, they know my paresnts are so CONSERVTIVE (?) they say they think my parents will not see me again. We was all drinking alcohol and I think it made me so serious. I wanted to speak to unknown people about problems so that I don’t have to listen to friends that think so much about the family situation. But, my Far speak to his brohr and I now have an Uncle who is good to listen to me. I was with my ant and he at he weekend and I know my Far is happy, it is my dear mama who cannot speak to me, she cry all the time. I am in home at Jul and I hope Mama is better. But, I am in England in January for University, so for 3 months I will not be near the parents. I think it will be better then, my Uncle says so. Also, THANK YOU to all people. Roxers are so nice people. Funny, I was not so a Roxer before 2 months only M, P & GT now I know the people, the atmosphere of Roxette, I think more of the music. Finally (as M says!!) Any English Roxers who can meet in London to show a Swedish boy some English touristic things??

@Rony. Tack girl! I have so little time to be in TDR as I have exam I missed some of threeds!!

CK_One said on December 8, 2003 15:53:

Hello Everybody, I just saw this topic here and signed up for TDR myself, to share what happened to me. I came out to my family 7 months ago and I have gone through a very tough part of my life, I faced serious loneliness over the lasy 7 months, as ALL my friends and family turned against me. I am in my mid twenties and was married, so I first came out to my ex wife and then to my family, it was the hardest thing for me to do, to actually come out to my ex wife. And what nobody really understands is, that I truly loved her, more than just a friend, it was deep and sincere love, but I just was not sexually attracted to her. I had to find new friends and have been extremely lucky... I just started to see this guy about for about 8 weeks already and the both of us are really into each other and at the same time, I am sooo scared to get hurt. Last week, it was the first time in about 5 months that I actually listened to any Roxette song, I just put on “I don’t want to get hurt”, I have never really listened to the words of this song before, and listening to it, almost scared me, as EVERY SINGLE WORD of that song, describes exactly what I feel towards my new boyfriend and the things I have just gone through!

ally77 said on December 12, 2003 23:23:

@ CK One.. welcome to the board.. just out of curiosity what brought you to TDR?.... are we linked somewhere.. or you been before..

Sorry I can’t help you... I have not been in that situation....