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Life Is Too Short
15 replies
LittleSpooky said on October 17, 2003 20:04:
*SPELL CHECKING*
I woke up this morning, looking forward to the day. It’s Friday and I have weekends off. Today has been a pretty tame day in terms of problems with passengers / routes / construction and the like. It’s UEA weekend (Utah Educators Association) and this is something that occurs every year in the schools (with the exception of private schools and colleges). So, kids have been off, passenger loads have been light. It’s been nice.
I finished my morning work and got back to the garage to catch up with some friends before heading home for a couple of hours. That’s when I got the news:
One of my good friends is dying of brain cancer. Redneck is a good man. When I first met him, we hit it off. Then after knowing him about 6 months or so, he came up to me and asked: “I hope you don’t mind me being straight forward with you, but I have to know. Are you gay?” I told him I wasn’t and he just grinned. Most people assume that I am because I’m a tom-boy and I wear my hair *short*.
Redneck always told me he thought I looked better with my hair short, than long and that no one else’s opinion mattered as long as I liked it. He always made me feel better, no matter how bad it got out there. One of the other drivers has been to see him and said that he’s lost a lot of weight, he can barely speak, can’t complete thoughts, and other things. I’ve opted to not go and see him because I wanna remember him as I know and love him.
The kicker to this, and I know it sounds retarded in light of everything: Redneck just bought himself a Harley Davidson (don’t know what kind). He just got it this summer and has ridden it as often as he could. He really got a giggle out of that bike and enjoyed makin a few of us jealous at the garage. Doctors have given him a year. Lou says that he might not make it through Christmas.
It’s not fair. He was one of the good guys. He made it enjoyable for me to get up and go to work because he was always wearin a cocky grin and his smooth Southern accent always put you at ease. Redneck’s from Missippi. Apparently he has 5 separate tumors and there’s nothing that can be done. Doctors did an exploratory and when they discovered this... the rest you know. I’m not gonna be ’round much. I keep getting hit from all sides, whether it’s trouble at work, or things like this.
Just remember to take care of yourselves.
Vixzter said on October 17, 2003 20:30:
It always happen to the good ppls in life....coz life sux! and it isn’t fair!
MiracleMan said on October 17, 2003 20:41:
Wow Spooky. . .tough situation to go through. I hardly know what to say. . .
Oddly enough I had a friend who had a benign tumor removed last April, and thankfully is doing well. I can’t imagine beyond the rudimentary sense what you’ve got to deal with.
But you’re right, it really makes me stop and think about the trivialities that frustrate you every day, to let that small shit go and reassess what’s important in life.
Take care of yourself and hold on as best you can. We’ll be here when you get back. Take care.
Denstandigaresan said on October 17, 2003 23:12:
That’s tough. :(
It’s like me, sat around all day doing nothing, seeing no-one... I should be out there doing things. Too late when you’re gone
La-Man, tomboy means a girl considered boyish or masculine in behavior or manner.
LittleSpooky said on October 18, 2003 01:00:
Tom-boy: Like Denny said, it is a woman who displays masculine behavior.
I like American Football, Australian Football, cars, motorcycles, boxer shorts, black, blue, red (colours).
I despise dolls, frilly undies, pink (colour) and most things generally seen on women.
There are other things, but that gets a little personal ;o)
sunshinestar20 said on October 18, 2003 10:37:
wow really sorry 2 hear :( your story made me realise how lucky i am, thanks for sharing
Anarem said on October 18, 2003 14:14:
Little Spooky, I am so sorry about your friend. You are right, life is indeed short, and it throws you the most painful of curveballs. Take your time away from here if you need to, but sometimes it helps to share your feelings with others, even if you have never met anybody here in real life.
I’ll share with you guys my own life curveball.
My boss Debbie died six days ago from a massive brain aneurysm. It was quick, and I hope it was painless and that she wasn’t too frightened when she left. It feel so strange to type this, half of me is still in shock, and I can’t believe that she is gone. Here was this happy and healthy 45 year-old mother of two girls in their twenties, grandmother to two young boys, and life partner to a big burly Irishman who was just crazy about her, and now she is gone.
She wasn’t like any boss I’ve ever had before– she was always very accessible, and she was my biggest cheerleader at work. And because I was the youngest member of our department, she was very maternal towards me, which drove me crazy sometimes but I was grateful nonetheless. Now that she’s gone, the rest of us proofreaders are just going through the motions, feeling like lambs lost without our shepherd, our fearless leader and our friend. My cubicle was right next to hers, and it hurts me greatly that I will never hear her voice again, or her contagious laugh, or smell the hand lotion she liked to use when her hands got dry from handling all the prints and papers we proofread. I miss her so much.
Yesterday was her funeral. Just the week before, she had celebrated her 45th birthday (we all partook in cheesecake with liqueur), she had bought furniture that she was going to refinish, and she was getting ready to make Thanksgiving dinner for her entire family...
Life is indeed short. Life is precarious. So to all you guys who are whining about superficial trivialities (like you idiots whining about the new Rox DVD for example) just shut up. Shut up and take a deep breath, go out for a walk or dance buck naked in your living room. You are alive. Take time to tell people you love them, make your hugs a little fiercer, laugh a little louder, do good deeds and just be grateful.
Because, as Goethe said, nothing is more important than this day.
(edited for spelling)
MiracleMan said on October 18, 2003 17:24:
“Because, as Goethe said, nothing is more important than this day.”
I love that.
It’s amazing to me how many people have these stories to share, and the way it alters their perspectives on what’s trivial and what’s worth out time.
DaminehGessle said on October 18, 2003 19:20:
LS: As a kid, I always believed things happen for a reason. At least that’s what my grandma always used to say. I find no reason to things that go on around us ever since my garndma died of cancer 10 years ago, without any given reason. She died 10 days after doctors found out she had it. She never knew.
Things just happen, good or bad. It makes us realize we can go anytime. It makes us realize this life we are living is not worth the worriness we deal with each day. Whether it’s exams, money or jealousy, etc. You can be here now and go the next millisecond. I realized that after my accident this past summer. You are there singing and then bang! So yeah... you never know.
about your friend and you not wanting to see him: when my grandma was in the hospital, I only visited her twice. One when she was fine before the surgery and one the day before she died. I never went to her funeral and never went to her grave despite the fact that the entire family went there twice a week before we moved to canada. I regret it now. I wish I’d spent more time with her in the hospital. I wish I’d said goodbye to her. I wish I’d taken every second for granted to be with her. I cried every night for years just cause I’d missed her and guess what. I always had a smile on my face not wanting anyone to know what I was going through. To show I was strong when inside, I was a mess. I can’t even see what I’m writing cause of the tears.
I don’t want to tell you what to do. You are mature enough to decide for yourself. It’s good to keep the good times in mind, but that’s not what friendship is all about. Your friend needs you. You need him. Take each and every second for granted and spend more time with him. When he’s gone, you’ll be happy to have been there for him through thick and thin.
And as for yourself, I can’t tell you to be strong and hang on in there. No I can’t. Just don’t lose it. You are going through a tough time. Ask for help. You can’t go through it alone. I always did and it hurts more than I ever wanted to believe. I hope you’ll be fine.
derek said on October 18, 2003 20:29:
littlespooky sorry to hear about your friend as you say life is to short my first wife passed away in march of this year and she was only 51 . life is not fair but i dont think that we can do to much about it can we except try to live it the best way that we can
LittleSpooky said on October 19, 2003 05:40:
Alone is the only thing I am anymore. I have a few friends, but I feel like I’m a burden to them. Most everyone I know is married and has kids or is working on that. Most of my friends are also older than me.. that’s the way the job goes. Been to enough therapy I could start my own damn practice.
D: I understand what you say about seein him... but I think it would do more harm to me than good. He can barely carry on a conversation now as it is. It frustrates the hell out of him because not only should he KNOW you, he should be able to talk to you. And he can’t do either one.
DaminehGessle said on October 19, 2003 06:54:
I totally understand what you’re saying. To be honest with you, I myself run away from things that bother me every single day of my life. But your friend, no matter how bad his situation is right now, needs you. Not that you can do anything about it... You will feel much better in say 2 years. In 2 years you will be looking back feeling proud that you were by his side when he was ill. At the end, all that remains is the good times you had. You won’t look back thinking of his ill moments. You will look back talking very proudly about the way he made you laugh and the grin on his face. That’s what you remember him by no matter what, whether you see him or not.
Yes we all have friends, but you are the only one who can help you. Talking to friends would not help. At least for me it wouldn’t. Everyone’s life is so different than you, their emotions are just so different that it’s hard for them to put themselves in your shoes. They might say they understand, but noone does better than you do. Noone would feel the pain you are going through as much as you, yourself. You need to get yourself back up again if you ever go down. You are the only one that can help you. I might shed a tear with you over the same thing that’s happened to me, but i am not you. I can’t tell you what to do. Noone can. Do something you know you will never regret. Life is too short as you said.
LittleSpooky said on October 22, 2003 04:49:
Thought I was taking a few days... but I guess not. Mebbe it’s easier to hang around. I don’t know
ally77 said on October 17, 2003 20:25:
Your right Little Spooky... in this big world you gotta take life while you can...
An old school friend of mine Zoe Corlett died last year of a brain tumour, although we were not best friends it was sad to learn of her illness when we were the same age...
She made the most of life while she could, she planned her own funeral and made sure there where never any sad people around her or her family, she was married and had a young son.
She was so positive she knew she was dying and enjoy life and what was left... she donated her organs and also left her body to medical science, she became the face of a UK wide campaign for doner cards....
There where over 400 people attended her funeral at my local church last October.