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HAVE A JOKE!
17 replies
TinyBubbles said on June 29, 2003 16:30:
I’M BLONDE AND I’M DUMB AND I’M PROUD OF IT. Bah!!
lost-little-girl said on June 29, 2003 07:44:
and here is another:
A Blonde Goes to the Library?
Once a blonde went to the library to get a book. A few days later, she returns and says to librarian at the counter, “This book was very boring. It had too many characters and too many numbers, so i would like to return it.”
The librarian says to the other librarian, “So here is the person who took our phone book!”
lost-little-girl said on June 29, 2003 07:46:
and another:
A little boy wrote to Santa ...
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, “Please send me a sister.”
Santa Clause wrote him back, “Ok, send me your mother.”
Nina4u said on June 29, 2003 08:02:
Blonds ,Blonds ,Blonds....
Men prefer blonds ...but they take what they can get !!!!
Blonds are smart !!!!!!!!!
A blonde woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, “If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes.”
The woman freed the frog.
The frog said, “Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes - that whatever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!”
The woman said, “That would be okay.”
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, “You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock to.”
The woman replied, “That will be okay because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me....
So, KAZAM - she’s the most beautiful woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, “That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you.”
The woman said, “That will be okay because what’s mine is his and what’s his is mine....”
So, KAZAM she’s the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, “I’d like a mild heart attack.....”
Moral of the story: Blondes are clever bitches. Don’t mess with us.
Stormkeeper said on June 29, 2003 12:06:
check out these too:
http://www2.dailyroxette.com/smalltalk/thread.php/7559
http://www2.dailyroxette.com/smalltalk/thread.php/7813
xuxa said on June 29, 2003 14:21:
A MALE DUMB BLOND JOKE!! :DDDD
Three business men were sitting in a bar, drinking and discussing how stupid their wives were.
The first says: “I tell you, my wife is so stupid. last week she went to the supermarket and bought $300 worth of meal because it was on sale and we don’t have a fridge big enough to keep it in!”
The second agrees that she sounds pretty thick, but says his wife is thicker. “Just last week, she went out and spent $17000 on a new car”, he laments, “and she doens’t even know how to drive!”.
The third, A BLOND MALE, nods sagely and agrees that those two women sound like they both walked through the stupid forest and got hit by every branch.
However, he still thinks that his wife is dumber. ” I have to laugh when I think about it. Last week my wife left on a vacation to Greece. I watched her packing her bags and she must have taken at least five boxes of condomns with her. She doesn’t even have a penis!!”
TinyBubbles said on June 29, 2003 16:57:
Sheeeeeeshhhhh Zee, I’m dumb!? , I have a funny accent!? OUGH!! What else??? You’re in for it dude. You’re dead. You’re gonna die. I’m gonna get you. And i’m drinking coke RIGHT NOW. Yummy. Loving it. You r sooo mean. And you know, 1-4-3 can mean something else too, and i’m thinking it right now.....
TinyBubbles said on June 29, 2003 17:21:
Eh....that was just the coke talking....:P
I’m use to people mocking my accent. It’s okay. Kinda. It’s not okay, but i’m use to it. Bah!! You r sooo mean!! I hate you.
TinyBubbles said on June 29, 2003 17:24:
No no no. 1-4-3
...and i’m getting rid of the coke now. No more.
derek said on June 29, 2003 17:53:
black mans joke.
when i born.i black
when i grow up .i black
when i go in the sun.i black
when i cold .i black
when i sick.i black
and when i die ,i still black
but you white folks
when you born you pink
when you grow up you white
when you go into sun you red
when you cold you blue
when you scared you yellow
when you sick you green
when you bruised you purple
and when you die you grey
so who the fuck are you calling colored
Nina4u said on June 29, 2003 18:16:
Here is A Fairy Tale for the Woman of the New Millennium
Once upon a time, in a land far away, A beautiful, independent, self assured princess, happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.
The frog hopped into the Princess’ lap and said: Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome Prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young Prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and setup housekeeping in yon castle with my Mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so.
That night, on a repast of lightly sautéed frogs legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled to herself and thought:
I don’t freaking think so..........
How do you know if a Man is lying? His lips are moving.......
Don’t imagine you can change a man - unless he’s in diapers......
What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door...
Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.....
If you want a committed man - look in a mental hospital....
The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn’t ask for directions.........
If he asks what sort of books you’re interested in, tell him checkbooks.........
There was a beautiful young burnett at a soda machine in Vegas, and she arrived there just before a business man coming to quench his thirst.
She opened her purse and put in 50 cents, studied the machine a short while, pushed a Diet Coke selection, and out came a Diet Coke.
She placed it on a counter next to the machine. Then she reached in her purse again and pulled out a dollar and inserted it in the machine.
Studying the machine carefully, she pushed the button for Coke Classic and out came a Coke Classic and 50 cents change.
She immediately took the 50 cents and put it in the machine, studied it for a moment and pushed the Mountain Dew button. Out came a Mountain Dew.
She placed them both on the counter next to the Diet Coke. As she was reaching into her purse again, the business man, who’d been waiting patiently for several minutes by then, spoke up.
“Excuse me, miss, but are you done yet?” She looked at him and indignantly asked, “Well Duh! Can’t you see I’m still winning?”
lost-little-girl said on June 29, 2003 07:42:
How about a thread for jokes and laughs, here is mine!!
A Leprechaun And His Bodily Fluids
One day a man walked in a bar with a box. He sat down, opened the box and out popped a leprechaun. The man told the bartender, “I want a pint of beer and a shot of whiskey for my buddy here.”
There was man sitting at the end of the bar watching all of this and, after the leprechaun drank his shot of whiskey, he ran down to the end of the bar and spit in the guy’s face. Then he ran back.
The guy with the box said, “I’ll have another beer and a shot of whiskey for my buddy here.”
After the leprechaun drank his shot of whiskey, he again ran to the end of the bar and spit in the man’s face, then dashed back.
The guy with the box ordered another beer for himself and another shot for the leprechaun. Again, the after the leprechaun drank his shot of whiskey, he ran down to the end of the bar. But this time the man was waiting for him and he grabbed the leprechaun and held him in the air.
He said, “If you spit in my face again, I’m going to cut your pecker off.”
The leprechaun laughed and said, “Leprechauns don’t have peckers.”
Then the man said, “If you don’t have peckers, then how do you pee?”
“By spitting,” said the leprechaun.