Someone just e-mailed me this, it made me laugh, hope it does you too....

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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN

Take clothes off and place in a sectioned laundry hamper according to lights, darks, whites, man made or natural.

Walk over to bathroom wearing dressing gown, if husband seen along the way cover up any exposed flesh and rush to bathroom.

Look at womanly physique in the mirror and stick out belly, complain and whine about getting fat.

Get in shower, look for face cloth, arm cloth, loin cloth, long loofah and pumice stone.

Wash hair once with cucumber and lamphrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.

Wash hair again with cucumber and lamphrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins, condition hair with cucumber and lamphrey conditioner and enhanced natural crocus oil, leave on for 15 minutes.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair taking at least 15 minutes to make sure it’s all come off.

Shave armpits and legs, consider shaving bikini line but decide to get it waxed instead.

Scream loudly when husband flushes toilet and water loses pressure and turns red hot.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee all wet surfaces in shower, dry with towel the size of a small African country.

Wrap hair in super absorbant second towel.

Check entire body for remotest signs of spots, attack with nails/tweezers (if you can find them).

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head, If seen by husband cover any exposed areas and then rush to spend hour and half getting dressed.

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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN

Take off clothes while sitting on bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to bathroom, If wife seen, shake knob at her while shouting “WHEY !!” look in mirror and suck in gut to see your manly physique.

Admire size of knob in mirror.

Scratch bollocks and smell fingers for one last whiff.

Get in shower, don’t bother to look for wash cloth, don’t need one.

Wash face. Wash armpits.

Laugh at how loud farts sound in shower, wash bollocks and surrounding area.

Wash arse leaving hair on soap.

Shampoo hair but do not use conditioner, make Mohican hairstyle with shampoo, pull back curtain to see self in mirror.

Piss in shower.

Rinse off and get out of shower, fail to notice water on floor because shower curtain outside of bath for whole shower time.

Partially dry off.

Look at self in mirror, flex muscles and admire size of knob again.

Leave bathroom light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist, if pass wife pull off towel, grab knob go “Yeah Baby!” and thrust pelvis at her.

Put on yesterday’s clothes.

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