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hurt?
23 replies
ragdoll said on April 12, 2006 08:11:
Hi Guys, I can’t sleep. I’ve been thinking about the last time something or someone really hurt me.
What was the biggest hurt in your life?
Mine was when I was told that my boyfriend was “messin’ around” with someone else. I didn’t take the time to get his side of the story, I finished with him, only to discover later that it was a case of mistaken identity and not my boyfriend at all. He was deeply hurt as was I but although I begged for another chance, he felt I was too ready to believe others above what he had to say, had I given him the chance to say anything at the time.
so, what was the biggest cause of hurt in your life?
eBay said on April 12, 2006 08:22:
Hmm.. I think this is a bit too personal for me to discuss here in detail. ;-)
eBay said on April 12, 2006 08:23:
@ragdoll
I hope you are feeling better about this whole thing now though. Has it been a long time ago or just very recent?
ragdoll said on April 12, 2006 08:32:
oh this is just a recent thing. You see I told my Mom what I had been told about him messin’ around and she encouraged me to finish with him. I felt I wanted to anyway but with my Mom egging me on, I did it. I want to be friends with him but he is still hurting badly and doesn’t fell ready for that yet.
ally77 said on April 12, 2006 09:10:
Okay there was one event which was almost 10 years ago.... family issues with a family member an auntie that decided to start a rumour about me and do her best to cause trouble between me and my grandparents... she suceeded and I lost touch with my Grandparents, my grandfather died 8 months later and I next saw him dead in his bed (but in all honesty I didn’t care for him after how he had treated me) I stayed in touch with my Grandma and even kept in touch with my auntie. She acted like nothing had happened but I had my doubts about her, 12 months after my Grandfather died my grandma passed away and this auntie caused trouble again at the funeral, again having a go at me for a really petty thing (it was so petty you would laugh). With that I decided I wanted nothing to do with her or her family again....
I lost touch with her as did my mum (baring in mind it was her sister)
What I only found out last year is that my Mother got back in touch again with her sister last year through a website, and although they have not spoken or met they do exchange messages through it. I read them all (because I want to protect my mum from getting hurt). My mum knows I read them and she tells me what she says. For the sake of my mum I pretend I am okay with it and have even offer to take her to meet her - but I don’t wish to.
I heard many years ago this auntie was sick with MS and I was pleased (okay sick of me but she hurt me).... anyway she did confirm it in a message to my mum but I don’t care, for me she can die painfully as I can’t forgive her for what she did (to this day I still swear I didn’t do anything wrong, and often the past events cause problems because I think my own mum blames me even)
For me she could drop dead in front of me and I’d leave her there.... maybe she is sorry for what she did, but I certainly have nothing to apolgise for.
Part of me whats to send her a message and ask her why she did what she did... but she is not worth the hassle, and I would fear the consequences from her son who is in prison.
For me its part of my life I have tried to forget but with mum talking to her again I can’t....
purplemedusa said on April 12, 2006 09:28:
Aw my Ally-babes!! *huggles*
And so we all carry our own hurts... I take my hat off to you, Ally, for sharing that with us! Hope that more people will feel comfortable sharing their hurts & frustrations - it does make one feel better to talk about it!
As for me; I’m still pissed off at myself for making SUCH a stupid error - I should NEVER have allowed Nikos to go back to Greece on grounds of he’s Visa restrictions... Fact is he could have stayed without ANY problem but I only thought of that weeks after he left!!! *doink*
ragdoll said on April 12, 2006 09:54:
thanks for sharing that Ally. My hurt seems little now in comparison but I guess hurt is hurt and our own hurt hurts the most.
I am going to try to get some sleep now. Maybe things will look better in the morning.
hugs.
ally77 said on April 12, 2006 13:43:
It’s something that haunted me for a long time and it’s lurking again because I know she is back on the scene (in a kind of way) but it’s also so something that I discussed a length with my counselling this year and something that I know I can handle better...
I do feel it ruined a part of my life which I can’t recovered but we can’t live in the past so its best not to dwell in it...
I often just wonder if my grandfather could see them now and his precious grandson who is not in prison... I wonder if he would have any regrets with how he behaved..
FirstGirlOnTheMoon said on April 12, 2006 14:16:
Purps is right. Everyone carries their own pains, usually deep in their hearts where no-one else can see it. :(
My hurt seems pale in comparison with some of the others here, but let me just say this: Forgiveness and healing comes when you least expect it. Keep the faith!
:)
eBay said on April 12, 2006 15:03:
Okay, I am not really one to really disclose my experiences from the past, but what I will do is; share a journal entry, somehow this is almost some sort of a poem. I wrote down my thoughts and feelings two weeks after my last break up. I just sat down one night and started to write what I felt inside. When I showed this to my closest friend she said she never realized what I really did feel:
Trying to continue my life without you,
Knowing I am loved by you,
That you miss me;
Fills me with pain and deep sadness,
As I still can’t be with you.
Sleepless nights, filled with tears.
A lonely heart, trying to reach out to the one I love.
Shall I phone you? Send you a message?
Why not, you just said you love me and will never stop loving me.
But still.. you left me. And without you, every day seems to be this little bit harder.
I own the biggest treasure, deep inside of my heart.
That’s where I keep all my wonderful memories,
The moments I shared with you.
When you lifted me up and carried me up your stairs,
Gently lowering me onto your bed, while your soft lips were one with mine.
Nights when you just could not let go of me,
While you were asleep, your lips still searched for mine.
The meals you cooked for me, the wine we shared.
Films we watched together, while you held me in your arms.
The passionate night we shared together,
Feeling what we only felt once before.
Your smile, your beautiful eyes.
These things are hidden, buried deep down inside of my heart.
And no one will ever find them, as that’s were I keep my treasured memories.
Can I be with you one more time?
And may this moment last a lifetime.
When you hold me, I feel like I am home,
As I finally found what I had been longing for all my life.
Every man that enters my life, I compare him to you.
No other man has ever touched my life the way you have.
My love will never die for you.
You took my heart the moment I saw you.
LittleSpooky said on April 12, 2006 15:39:
I have all of mine card catalogued, alphabatized, almost completely dated, and it takes up a filing cabinet. Where would you like me to begin?
lonely_girl said on April 12, 2006 18:20:
I also know the issue of family trouble! My family didn’t talk to my aunt’s family for almost 10 years after my Granddad died...
Awful time!
Debora said on April 12, 2006 20:37:
@Ally: I wish you the best!
Well, one of the things that has hurt me was that my friends (now ex-friends) made a joke of my feelings. I was about 14 years old and they really destroyed me and I started to think that everything about our feelings was a reason for laughing. Because of this, I built a wall around me to keep me safe, I never again talked about my feelings (actually I had never said anything, they just guessed), I never again could trust in people. Most of the people think that I’m made of ice, but I’m not, I’m very sensitive, to say the truth, but it was the only way I found to keep me safe... but time passes and it hurts cos in some way I can’t go on.
Many people say that the adolescense is the best time in a person life, but don’t agree: it’s the most diffucult time cos if you have a problem while you are and adolescent, you have to solve it while you are and adolescent, in other way, it hurts you... and much.
ally77 said on April 12, 2006 22:03:
Thanx Debora...
I think sometimes familys are more hassle than they are worth!
tuvou said on April 12, 2006 22:11:
Trues up!
Well, last year I graduated from a teachers college (diploma) and was totally lookin forward to getting out into the world and be by myself and party wid friends and all but some aunts of mine told me that I should continue at uni. God I was so hurt! I honestly wished tha t my family would care less and just let go. They went like, ” tuvou u can’t survive wid a diploma and u wouldn’t enjoy life and blah blah blah.
Yeah thats my story.
MiracleMan said on April 13, 2006 00:28:
Yeah. Hurt & I have been having an ongong relationship for a while now. Sometimes I forget to pay any attention to her, but she seems to get my attention on a regular basis these days.
As unfortunate as the relationship may be, it’s a necessary part of existance. How else would we know what bliss really is?
LittleSpooky said on April 13, 2006 05:19:
Relationships... that falls under several categories:
Things I can live without
Stuff I won’t do again
And damn was I stupid or what?
ragdoll said on April 13, 2006 22:22:
wow...there is sooo much pain and hurt out there. I feel humbled.
Debora said on April 14, 2006 18:17:
Many times I said, and I still say it, that I would like to set a shop. I need to save some money first, of course, but there always is someone saying that I’m crazy, that it won’t work and those things. One day I said that I really need it because I wanted to adopt a baby in the future and if you own a shop it’s easier than if you have another job, and that person just said: you make me laugh. That’s was terrible. It seems that people is always having fun from my feelings.
purplemedusa said on April 12, 2006 08:18:
I’m personal friends with Hurt; but instead i’ve chosen to see her pressence as mere school fees towards a passion-filled exsistance!
“So what if i had a good cry this morning...!” MYSELF