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Funny Cultural jokes!

2 replies

I found these after the Germany joke about language! EDIT TO THE SENSITIVE Remember that they are jokes and not to be taken too seriously. Even the jokes about my country made me laugh!

How International Corporations Work

Explained with the Help of Cows

Traditional Capitalism
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

An American Corporation
You have two cows.

You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the band, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.

The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.

Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.

The public buys your bull.

A French Corporation
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

A Japanese Corporation
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

You then create clever cow cartoon images called ’Cowkimon’ and market them World-Wide.

A German Corporation
You have two cows.
You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

A British Corporation
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

An Italian Corporation
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
So you break for lunch.

A Russian Corporation
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A Swiss Corporation
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.

A Chinese Corporation
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment and high bovine productivity.
You have the newsman who reported on the numbers arrested.

An Indian Corporation
You have two cows.
You worship them.

United Nations Survey

Last month, a world survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: “Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world.” The survey was a huge failure...

In Africa they didn’t know what “food” meant.

In Eastern Europe they didn’t know what “honest” meant.

In Western Europe they didn’t know what “shortage” meant.

In China they didn’t know what “opinion” meant.

In the Middle East they didn’t know what “solution” meant.

In South America they didn’t know what “please” meant, and

In the USA they didn’t know what “the rest of the world” meant.

How Do We Know that Adam and Eve were not Chinese?

Simple, when temptation reared its delicious head, they would have thrown away the apple. Both of them would have eaten the snake instead.

LOL at the cows and the survey :-)

Ha Ha ;)

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