Following the recent outrages in London, the French Government has announced it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide”. The only two
higher levels are “Surrender” and “Collaborate”. The change was precipitated by a recent fire which destroyed France’s white flag factory, effectively
destroying their military capability.

The Italians have raised their alert level from “Shout loudly and excitedly” to “Elaborate military posturing”. Two levels remain, “Ineffective combat operations” and “Change sides”.

The Germans also increased their alert status from “Disdainful arrogance” to “Dress in uniform and sing marching songs”. They have two higher levels,
“Invade a neighbour” and “Lose”.

Observing these developments in Europe, the Americans have gone from “Isolationism” to “Find somewhere in the Middle East ripe for regime
change”. Their remaining higher alert states are”Take on the world” and “Ask the British for help”.

Finally, in the UK, they have gone from “Pretend nothing’s happening” to “Make another cup of tea”. The higher levels are “Remain resolutely cheerful” and “Win”.