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I want him back but how?
41 replies
lawyer said on July 2, 2004 20:41:
Comment removed by author
ally77 said on July 7, 2004 21:00:
Sorry to hear of this, it’s awful when people play with your feelings.. I have a friend that does this a lot, an old friend whom I have known for oh ermm must be over 5 years yet when she calls I come on running... it’s awful, I need to break the friendship we have I want to cool things off... but don’t know the best way to go about it!
purplemedusa said on July 7, 2004 23:13:
Lawyer, I have a hard time trying to understand what exactly you mean by friendship...
According to my definition it doesn’t mean that you should be joined at the hip of another... that both stay individuals but yet positively interact... and ofcoarse fun comes in the picture!
It seems that your feelings towards this guy are a little more than JUST a friendship. Have you tried exploring and analysing them... also look at your motives for entertaining this friendship. It’s all a case of looking at yourself first... being honest with yourself in what type of relationship YOU want with this person (not what society dictates etc)... and then find out whether the other person share similar emotions. If not simplify the friendship and have the selfconfidence to move on and search for something that will fulfill you!!
Kind Regards,
PM
Roxer93 said on July 8, 2004 01:07:
Ally, if she was a good friend, she wouldn’t be doing this to you anyway. I reckon you should just tell her so... Life’s too short to be wrapped around someone else’s little finger.
I mean NO offense by anything I say.
Roxer93 said on July 10, 2004 01:48:
He stood in front of a speeding truck?!!!! That’s just going waaaay too far! I hope he doesn’t do stupid things like that all the time! I’m sure there are plenty of other ways to show devotion to someone.
Anyway, I hope you are in healthier relationships now. :)
Roxer93 said on July 10, 2004 07:49:
I’m soooo glad you’re no longer friends with this guy!! I’m sure there are lots of people out there who want to be your friend and who will love you for who you are. :)
Roxer93 said on July 14, 2004 04:01:
I prefer to use MSN. I’ve added you to both of mine ’cos I didn’t know you had MSN.
[email protected]
eyerun said on July 22, 2004 07:27:
hey lawyer....here is what i’d do personally...
i would go out to ice cream with “A” and get on good terms before you break things off. A good talk could set things straight. And don’t beat around the bush...say whats on your mind.
It sounds like you both need to move on but something is drawing you back to each other. Was he your first true love? THis can be really hard...i know! I think you need to give each other space.
hope this helps along with the other posts!
kachina008 said on July 23, 2004 13:53:
“I find myself broken and blue as always”
:(
how poetic. sounds like a song lyric.
ncurran said on September 2, 2004 04:30:
this is the first time ive read this topic, so i hope u dont mind me throwing my 2 cents worth in.
Relationships, whether they are friendships or more, can be funny things. While there is nothing that can give us as much pleasure and happiness in life as sharing our lives with someone else, there is also nothing that can give us so much pain when it all goes wrong.
For your situation Lawyer it definitely seems from reading that there was a severe lack of communication towards the end of the relationship. The fact that he sent u a bday card means that he thinks there is some unfinished business. It doesnt necessarily mean that the relationship can start where u left off....maybe too much damage has been done. but there is no harm in meeting him to clear the air, as long as both of u are willing to be honest with your feelings, maybe u can reach some kind of understanding, even if all that means is that u part on good terms. Maybe, it would result in the start of something new, but u have decide if u are willing to take that gamble with your feelings again....there is the possibility that u would get hurt again, as from what you have written he sounds like quite an unstable character, and quite controlling. All I am saying is be careful....the feelings u have make u vulnerable in some respect, and if this relationship does start again then it needs to be on terms that suit u. Its never a good thing when a partner demands to have control on the friendships and people in your life. A relationship should not mean having to change who you are to suit the other person....just being with that person should enhance your own personality.
Anyway, i hope ive made sense, i could have written a lot more, but i should probably stop now.
Roxer93 said on September 7, 2004 13:18:
No offense intended, but I think it’s a bit strange that after all these years they still dwell on the fact that he’s an orphan. I mean, he’s all grown up now. Surely he can look after himself now. I think you should make peace with him, but make it clear that you only want to be friends, nothing more. Maybe go to the movies or have dinner every now and then, but make sure he knows that’s ALL you’re doing. Then maybe your Mama and the rest of your family will be happy. He’ll probably be upset that you don’t want a relationship with him. Hopefully he has enough respect for you to accept that.
I hope this is helpful.
Roxer93 said on September 8, 2004 05:15:
Don’t tear the card up in front of him. That’s only gonna make him hate you, and you don’t really want that on your conscience, do you?
You told me once that your Mama doesn’t believe what you say about him. Maybe you should take your Mama with you when you tell him you don’t want to be friends with him anymore, then she will hopefully realise once and for all that he’s a bad influence on you. OR is there someone else who knows what he’s like that you could ask to help?
Roxer93 said on September 10, 2004 04:59:
Yes, just being civil towards him sounds like a good idea.
I’ve been here, haven’t seen you either. Perhaps I’d better get up earlier in the morning!!
Roxer93 said on July 5, 2004 05:49:
If I read this right, this guy sounds like he has a bit of a hold over you (not letting you keep your own friends, etc.). Sounds like the jealous type. Maybe you should wait a little longer. You might meet someone who loves your whole package (friends and all).
Maybe you could write him a heartfelt letter, letting him know how you feel. Whatever you do, don’t force the issue. That will probably drive him further away.
You never know what’s around the corner. Maybe wait and see if he comes to you.
I hope I’ve made sense! I wish you luck.