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Drowning In You
14 replies
poetry_princess said on April 8, 2004 06:45:
Actually, this is what I have decided. I haven’t called him. I will try to work things out with the guy who loves me, which requires me blocking the other guy out totally. which is just a little bit hard.
I wrote this, this morning:-
A full moon surrounded by tiny twinkling stars
in the pitch black of the night.
I stare up at all the beauty and think of you.
I wish upon a star
that one day you will think of me too.
This moon with it’s brilliant glow
reflects what I feel inside
with his pale face
and sad little eyes.
I hear a roxette song and think of you.
I wonder if you’re listening to the same song?
I doubt you would think of me.
Have you forgotten my name so soon?
Did I leave my scent to linger on your pillow?
Did you breathe it in?
Or was it mingled with the scent
of so many other girls
that you wouldn’t have been able to distinguish
my signature scent of Gucci Rush 2?
You probably washed that pillow case
to ensure no trace of me was evident...
like how you hurriedly checked your car
for anything that might possibly
remind you of me
before you said goodbye.
I always seem to bring the most worried look on your face.
Quite possibly because I scream
“COMPLICATED”
and you don’t like complications.
I’m not even you type!
I’m just your little toy when you are bored
with your present life.
When you drive on that road
that goes past my work
I am certain
you don’t even give me a thought.
Oh
I know you.
So well it scares me.
I know you won’t ever call
because to call
would mean you would have thought of me.
roxlad said on April 5, 2004 08:31:
My advice is to let him go ’cos it’s no good if he’s not interested... I have been in love with somebody for 4 years and it brought me nowhere but down... to be in love 4 years without thinking of anybody else is a long time and I only did it or I must say it happened only because this person was making me believe things that weren’t there. I don’t think he did it on purpose but... well that’s another story...
poetry_princess said on April 5, 2004 08:44:
I’m trying to. I’m trying to ... it’s very hard trying to do what you know you have to for your own sanity.
poetry_princess said on April 5, 2004 08:46:
You sound like you are in exactly the same situation as me! well, almost. e-mail me. I’m at
[email protected]
kachina008 said on April 5, 2004 09:20:
oh you poor thing :(
It is such a difficult thing to go thru. But in a way, remember that what you are in love with is acutally an image of what your love might be, and that might be very different from the way things might be if he is really with you.
My feeling is that you will be happier with guy #2, and don’t undo your good work in forgetting guy #1. Iam so sorry that you have to go thru this.
Good luck!!
roxlad said on April 5, 2004 13:55:
Hi princess! I can’t e-mail you now ’cos I’m at work (I have a small break) but actually what Kachina says is right.
Well in my case it was love at first sight which means that I was attracted not only by his body/face but also by the little things he did, the way he talked or moved but knowing a person is another thing. I was in love with somebody who I didn’t really know but I created my own version if you will....
Maybe what you see in guy#1 is true but after all if it’s not meant to be just leave it. I’m sure you will find somebody who loves you as you deserve wether it’s guy#2 or #3.... :-)
Be strong! Do it for yourself! It took me tooooo long to do it and I had a terrible time. Don’t do the same mistake.
harriej said on April 5, 2004 19:29:
The question is:
Do you also love the second guy?
Or do you love the first guy more?
If you love the second guy, choose for him, since he loves you too.
But if you don’t love the second one, it is though.
Majdy said on April 6, 2004 03:13:
I believe things will get better. it just takes time. just be pattient and keep being strong...
I have been through the same situation too, so I know how it feels like...
but guess what, I finally meet someone that really love me and can make me forget the oher one completely :)
poetry_princess said on April 6, 2004 06:22:
I don’t know how to explain it. Guy no. 1.
I loved him and I still do but I never realised it. Ok, the last time we saw each other... he knows how I feel and I know I mean absolutly nothing to him. I have tried to hate him, belive me he has tried to help me hate him but I forgive him for anything. I haven’t rung him, I’m still trying to work myself out. He could ring me if he wanted to. But he doesn’t. I know him really well even though we are strangers in reality. I try to fight the pull.
maybe this will explain it...
I would love to lose myself in you
drown in your eyes
eyes that look at me as if
you already know me inside and out
In my head I realise you are a stranger
a stranger that I have the most intimate conversations with
I lay my soul bare and leave you my heart with each goodbye.
Everytime, I am certain that I will never see you again
because with every breath I breathe for you
I know that my love for you could never touch that heart of yours.
I am a much stronger person than I realised.
Saying goodbye is bittersweet,
yet in saying it,
is the sweetest thing a girl in love can do
for a man who will never feel anything for her
poetry_princess said on April 6, 2004 06:31:
Guy no. 2
Well he hurt me. Which is why I quess I turned to guy no 1. I never thought it, I always thought he was so perfect. But we have been unhappy for longer than we realised. He has always been insecure about guy no. 2. He always knew how I felt, even when I didn’t. We have been together for so long its scary to think I might be falling out of love with him. This is the guy I thought i would marry and have kids with. Why did fate crash me and ***** together again?? Its messing with my head, I don’t know what I feel anymore. I did love him, it was a differnt love. How can I love two guys? Maybe I always have, and I just never realised it. Guy no. 2, has been trying so hard to fight for our love, but I have been emotionless, numb. Guy no 1 is probably happy i haven’t called. He confuses me so much. we are alike yet different. How can two people be so alike yet so completely different? When I am with him he brings out so many conflicting emotions in me. He makes me feel alive, deliriously happy, infuratingly mad and frustrated, Heartbroken and bittersweet.
kachina008 said on April 6, 2004 08:13:
What lovely but so sad poetry.
I’m just so afraid that you might end up with nothing :(
Majdy said on April 9, 2004 07:17:
do u love the second guy? if you don’t, please don’t make him hoping too high for you, because he might get hurt too... you won’t that to happen, right?
so, maybe you can just be friend at first with the second guy, and who knows oneday, you could really fall in love with him...
poetry_princess said on April 5, 2004 07:46:
I need somebodys view point on this.
Theres two guys in my life.
First guy:-
I’ve known him on and off for 4-5 years. I had a wild crush on him which turned into first love I quess. He seduced me with Roxette songs, that is how I became a fan. Anyway I stopped seeing him, talking to him etc, which was hard but i did it because i was in love with him and he did not feel the same way. And I had to get a life.
enter 2nd guy
This guy loves me with all his heart.
3 years later i bump into first guy and my head spins and he is confusing me and i haven’t called him because i know its not worth it but i just can’t stop thinking about him because i still love him. always have, always will